Exchange Program
by Phantomess of the Opera
Summary: BatmanHellsing crossover. What would happen if the two coolest butlers in the world changed places for a little bit? When Walter and Alfred switch jobs for a few weeks how will their employers ever cope?
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: I do not own anyone from Batman, nor do I own anyone from Hellsing. This is just some random thing that wandered into my brain and wouldn't leave me alone. Therefore, without furher ado, I give you the two coolest butlers EVER.

The letter was an interesting proposition. Out of the question, but interesting none the less. The tradition of Boxing Day had not been well observed outside of England, nor had it been terribly popular as of late even within Britain's borders. However, the Fraternal Order of Butlers suggested that it might be a lark for it's members to participate in a switch among themselves in it's honour. Not exactly as it was in the old days, but a change none the less. Especially for a butler like Walter.He'd often mused to himself how it would be to work for a normal employer, rather than the secret monster hunting order, Hellsing. He'd been pondering over the subject since the letter had arrived and he thought he'd finally stumbled upon a way that he could participate. At the last international FOB convention he'd met with a gentleman about his own age who worked for an American billionaire. He'd established quite a rapport with this Alfred and had began a corrospondance with him. The man had made some brief mention of his employer's rather hush-hush side activities that kept him in a near constant state of anxiety. Much as Walter viewed Sir Integra as a sort of daughter, Alfred apparently held very similar feelings towards his own master whom he'd raised from the age of 8 when his parents had tragically died.  
Perhaps if he could keep whatever tawdry and distasteful secrets this billionaire playboy apparently indulged in, he could be trusted to keep quiet about Hellsing's activities. And if not...well, Alucard could always just wipe his mind before he left. Working for a normal, allbeit filthy rich person would be an interesting change of pace.

Alfred sifted through the morning mail, weeding out anything Master Bruce needn't be bothered with. Party invitations; a smattering of minor society functions; adverts; a letter from Mr. Kent,most likely in regard to Master Bruce's birthday last Thursday (which he had threatened bodily harm to anyone who made mention of it); and finally a letter adressed to Alfred himself from England. He paused en route to the study and opened it immediately.  
"Dear Alfred,  
No Doubt you've seen the latest mailing about the upcomming Boxing Day at the end of next month. If you are interested, and can keep a secret or two for me as well as you obviously can for your master, I should very much like to participate in the exchange with you. Please inform me of your response immediately.  
Your Truly,  
Walter C. Dolnez"  
Alfred raised an eyebrow. This was interesting. He recalled Walter worked in the household of some higher up in the British government. Lots of privvy, classified information there, apparently. He was rather flattered that the man would trust him enough to extend this invitation.  
But, considering Master Bruce's nightly excursions and his own rather singular duties it was quite out of the question. Or was it? Walter certainly seemed the trustworthy sort. Not to mention it would be an exchange of very sensative secrets which would prompt both men to keep their mouths shut about anything they might learn.  
He entered the study with a polite knock. Bruce Wayne raised his head from the stack of Wayne Enterprises paperwork he'd been studiously ignoring for the past three weeks.  
"Good afternoon, sir." Alfred announced as he sat the relevant mail on the edge of the desk. The junk mail and his personal letter he still clutched in his hand.  
"What's that?" Bruce indicated the opened piece of mail in the older man's grasp.  
"Ah, yes. This is from a colleague of mine." Alfred handed the letter to his employer. "The Fraternal Order of Butlers has proposed an exchange within our ranks for the upcomming Boxing Day holiday. Walter is in something of a similar situation to myself, in that his work also requires him to keep a great many rather top secret matters to himself. He has suggested that we participate in the festivities together. Him coming here, and me going to his employer, a certain Sir Hellsing. I am quite interested by the whole thing"  
"The postmark is from England. I'm not sure this is a good idea to begin with. I doubt this Sir Hellsing is a costumed vigilante. Not to mention, having you so far from here. What if there's an emergency and I need you here"  
"Sir Hellsing is of a rather high position in the government, and apparently she consults with him often. So security is not an issue on that end. If he can keep state secrets, he can keep yours. He is also very capable from what I can tell. I would never dream of leaving you with someone who I thought was useless" Alfred looked a bit appalled that Bruce would even think such a thing.  
The younger man regarded him steadily for a moment. "You're really set on this, aren't you"  
Alfred nodded. "This truly is a unique experience that's being proposed. And it would only be for a couple of weeks"  
Bruce folded his hands and knitted his brow in fierce contemplation. At length he muttered, "I suppose if it gets out of hand I could always ask J'onn to wipe his memory"  
Alfred gave a smile. "Thank you, sir. I'll send my reply post-haste." 


	2. First Impressions

Still don't own these guys. Sigh Oh, well.

The flight had been a long one. Airport security was a real pain lately, and customs was not much fun either. Still, Walter had arrived in mostly one piece to Gotham City. Looking around the crowded airport he finally noticed a dark haired man in a brown suit with a lopsided grin waving to him and holding a sign reading "Welcome Walter!". The man took Walter's hand in an enthusiatic and sturdy handshake when he approached. "You're just like Alfred described. I'm Bruce Wayne and from what I gather you'll be taking over for my butler for the next two weeks or so." The man calling himself Bruce took one of Walter's bags and led him toward the exit to ground transportation. There was a Rolls Royce parked directly outside and the driver tipped his hat to Mr. Wayne and opened the back of the car for the two men. "You have some pretty big shoes to fill, Mr. Dolnez. Alfred has been indispensible to me for years now"  
Walter climbed into the back of the car, followed by his temporary employer. The man seemed quite jovial, if a little ditzy on first impression. Honestly, he'd expected something completely different given the few things Alfred had mentioned to him. "Thank you, sir. I shall do my utmost to handle things in his absence." It was once the car door had closed and directions to return the pair to Wayne manner had been given to the driver and the privacy partition had been raised that the change came. The foolishly pleasant demenour had dropped off of Bruce Wayne like shrugging off a coat. The warm brown eyes became hard and seious, and the chisled features of his face set like a stone carving. If Walter had been anyone else, the change would have been intimidating.  
"I don't know what Alfred told you, but this isn't going to be as simple as making breakfast and dusting the library. I need to know that you can keep secrets and never, ever breathe them to another soul, or I'll stick you right back on a plane home and the entire exchange will be off." The younger man stared at Walter with an intensity that he was sure only Sir Integra could truly rival in a mere mortal.  
"I can assure you, sir, that if you knew half of the secrets I keep for my own master you wouldn't bother to ask me such stupid questions." Walter returned the stare with a look of utmost sincerity. "You can trust me"  
Bruce smiled. He knew more than Walter would probably be comfortable with about Hellsing, thnks to Oracle. His silence now on the particulars of the secrets he kept was promising. "I hope, for your sake, that you're right." The rest of the ride to stately Wayne manner was drenched in silence and the two men wondering just what they'd gotten themselves into with this agreement.

Alfred had had a slightly simpler time of things. Customs had been the usual pain, but it was greatly helped by the fact that Master Bruce had been kind enough to let him use one of the private jets in the Wayne Enterprises fleet of transportation, rather than making him book a commercial flight. He was greeted on the tarmak by a black car with tinted windows and state flags. A younger man who appeared to be some kind of soldier greeted him, checked every piece of identifying documentation he had on him, then told him to get in the car so that he could be driven to Hellsing.  
The countryside was lush and gently rolling. Alfred had missed England. He hadn't been back in years, occupied as he was with Master Bruce. The estate he was to serve for the next two weeks was just outside of London, in the countryside. An old castle that had probably been in the family for centuries. Security at the gate was impressive. Clearly this Sir Hellsing must be important to warrant so many extreme measures. Just inside the door of the manner his "welcoming commity" was waiting. And a most interesting group it was. In the fore was a formidable looking platinum blonde woman, clad in an olive green men's suit and chewing on a cigar. She had that no nonsense look about her that gave Alfred the impression that she could stand toe to toe with just about anyone she liked and beat them into submission without ever raising a fist. Behind her and to the right was a young woman in an entirely too short khaki coloured uniform with brilliant blue eyes and a genuinely warm, welcoming smile. And next to her, the most unusual of the bunch. A tall man with a manic grin to rival the Joker's who had a mass of jet black hair falling in a mussed and unkempt mass about his head. He was wearing a bright red trench along with a large tie and hat of the same colour. A very old fashioned grey suit could be seen benieth. But the most disturbing thing was the eyes of the very same colour that stared back at Alfred. Not that red eyes were that disturbing in and of themselves. Lord knew the man had seen his share of humanoids with them and counted several of them among friends or at least allies. It was the expression the eyes held. Somewhere between stark raving lunacy, and a keen careful strategic mind that could no doubt rival even Batman.  
The woman in the fore spoke, dragging Alfred's attention away from the disturbing man behind her. "Welcome to Hellsing. I don't know what you're used to, but this assignment is going to be the most unusual you've probably ever dealt with. We are a vampire hunting organization in the employ of Her Majesty, the Queen. If any of our activities are leaked to the general populace the results could be...most unpleasant. Do I make myself clear"  
"I'm sure I understand the need for discretion when it comes to sensitive matters, Madame"  
"Good. I'm personally against this swap. It's only because I trust Walter's judgement implicitly that I have allowed this to take place." She took a puff of her cigar and regarded her replacement butler cooly for a moment. "Don't make me regret allowing him to talk me into this"  
"I may look old and feeble, but my mind is as keen and as sharp as ever. And," Alfred smiled "If you knew ANYTHING about my usual employer, you wouldn't talk to me about unusual"  
Integra gave him an appraising look. She must have decided he'd do, for at length she nodded to him. "Just don't do anything monumentally stupid or I WILL let Alucard have you for a snack." If it were possible the man behind her's grin widened to even more disturbing proportions. She walked away, the man in red following her like a dog and Alfred was left with the younger woman with the cheerful smile.  
"Please don't let Sir Integra scare you. She's just like that. My name's Seras Victoria and I guess I should properly welcome you to Hellsing Mr. Pennyworth. I can show you where you'll be staying if you like!" Her voice was as cheerful as her smile, which Alfred had just noticed contained rather sharp elongated canines. This would definately be an interesting two weeks! 


End file.
